*Home>>>Parenting>>>My 4 year old granddaughter's mother hasn't called her in over a year, what long term affect will this have?

Question: My son won custody of his then 3 year old daughter, b/c the mom had left the province with her,& the court hadnt been notified. My son flew across Canada to pick his little girl up and left a number for the mom so she could call anytime she wanted. We all thought that the mommy would grow resentful of the new boyfriend and head back to her baby but it has been almost 13 months and no phone call yet! Recently the mom talked to her mother and after a few moments she stated that her daughter was better off without her in her life! Should we tell the little one whatis going on or continue to cover it up? At this point we've said the mommy is trying to find a way back but now my granddaughter asks everyone and anyone, if they know where Kelowna is and will they go help her mommy. Recently she asked me if i can find her mommys phone number so she can tell her she had her happy birthday and she's 4 now! This is breaking my heart, I don't want to tell her that her mom is now only 2 hours away Answer: At this point you would probably be best to count your blessings the "mother" is gone. Get a lawyer to revoke her parental rights because you certainly don't want her showing up and wanting to "see her baby" when she feels like it. It sounds like the other grandmother might testify if asked. When she asks you could always say that her mother can't be there now but then list all the people who love and care for her. Please try to not do any name calling of the mother in your granddaughter's hearing. I speak of this from experience. My step daughter had next to no contact with her father but idolized him for years. I felt she needed to know what a nothing he was and just made her angrier. He's dead at his own hand and she is a mess.